Dear Maplelover,

Oh dear, it does sound like your mom is being unreasonable. Even if she did not like you playing computer games, there's no need for her to just pull the plug from the computer. You seem like an intelligent person, surely she could have made her point in a less dramatic fashion.
 
There are many reasons why parents disapprove of their children's activities. As far as computer games go, the usual reasons given are fear of addiction, fear of online strangers, and attention to school-work. Since you are doing well in school, your mom could be fearful of the second reason.
 
Maplestory is a Massively Multi-Player Online Role-Playing Game (MMORPG), so it is inevitable that you will encounter strangers online. If your mom is really worried for your safety, you might want to talk to her and explain that there is no need for her to worry. Assure her that when you're online, you only play with friends and you have no intention of meeting any strangers you encounter online (right??).

Talk to her anyway. Let her know that you know where your priorities lie (school), and you have the grades to prove it. At the same time, be also open-minded about your mom's concern for you. As far as interesting activities go, computer games are far from being the best investment of your time outside of school.

Hope this helps,
Dajie

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Dear Speak-up gal,

Well, it depends. Do other students in class face the same problem? If you are the only one having difficulty hearing her, perhaps you can request to sit closer to the front of the classroom?
 
Otherwise, there are other ways to improve the situation - perhaps closing the windows or doors of the classroom to shut out interference noise? Making sure other students aren't talking among themselves is another way to ensure that the teacher's voice can be heard.
 
And of course, encouraging your teacher to speak up will help, too.
 
Hope this helps,
Dajie

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Dear Stuckme,

Let me ask you something. Do you have an ambition? What do you want to be when you start working? A doctor? Writer? Research scientist?
 
Whatever you want to achieve in your adult life, it's important to start laying the foundation for it now. For example, if you want to be a doctor, then triple science is where you need to be.
 
Even though it's hard to study and perhaps not the most fascinating of subjects for you, it's what you need in order to go to medical school and become a doctor.
 
By the same token, if you have a real passion for literature, don't give it up easily. Scoring for exams can be trained with hard work and practice. I hope this gives you something to think about.

Hope this helps,
Dajie

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Dear Confusedgal100,

Believe it or not, it's not uncommon for some people in a big group of friends not to like each other. That's normal. Unfortunately, I can't tell from your letter the extent to which they dislike you. For example, what are some of the "nasty" things that they have done to you?  
 
Everyone has good and bad days. During the times when your friends weren't being nice to you, perhaps they were going through a tough time - at home or at school. Also, since you profess to be the quiet one, am I right to assume that you are a sensitive person as well? Sometimes, people don't mean to come across as nasty, but they just tend to rub people the wrong way. Do you think that may be the case?  
 
Regardless, it's an unhappy situation that you should try to resolve. Who are the other friends in the group that are always nice to you? Do you have a best friend in the group, or someone you're really close to? If so, it may be a good idea to find out from that person why some members of the group are behaving that way towards you. 

Hope this helps,
Dajie

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Dear RBAOB,

Sit your sister down and tell her how you feel directly. Don't accuse her and blame her immediately for her actions. If you come across as angry, she may be become defensive and not hear a word you say. What's worse, if she is not mature enough, she may even borrow more of your stuff without telling to spite you.  
 
With an even tone, tell her that you are only asking for a little consideration, nothing more than the kind of consideration she shows her friends. Surely, she doesn't take stuff from her friends without asking them first?  
 
Also, she needs to be responsible for the items that she borrows. If she ruins them, for example, if she rips a T-shirt of yours, then she will need to compensate you by buying a new T-shirt for you. If she can't take care of your stuff, she certainly has not earned the right to borrow them. Ask her how she would feel if you did the same thing to her.  
 
There is no need for a little thing like this to ruin your relationship with your sister. Hopefully, she will understand that. 

Hope this helps,
Dajie

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Dear WAHN,

Have you asked your mother why she doesn't want you to own a handphone? Is it because of the cost? Ask yourself this question: Do you know how much it will cost your family to maintain a handphone line for you? It's not just the cost of the phone itself, but the monthly subscription fees, and any additional fees for text messaging and for exceeding the number of given call minutes.  
 
I think it's great that you saved enough money to buy your own phone. That's wonderful because it shows that you are prepared to be independent financially. But are you able to be afford the phone bills independently too?  
 
I think the best way to convince your mother that you're ready is to show her that you know what the financial burden is, and how you are prepared to be responsible for the bills. If you are not able to pay the monthly bill out of your allowance, perhaps you can convince her to pay for a small percentage of it, say 20 or 30 per cent. Talk to her and see if she is willing to work out a payment schedule with you so that she can see that you are serious about owning a handphone.  
 
Of course, if she agrees, you have to live up to your word. Otherwise, you can forget about negotiating any future purchases with her. 
 
That being said, you also have to ask yourself this: Do you really need a handphone? Can you and your family afford one? If the answer is "no" to either one of the questions, wanting to buy a phone to fit in is not the best reason to commit yourself to that kind of financial burden. Most phones require a one- or two-year contract, and if you break the contract, you will also be liable for any penalty fees that can cost up to a few hundred dollars.  
 
I suppose it boils down to this: Are you ready to bear that kind of financial commitment and responsibility? 

Hope this helps,
Dajie

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