Dear glowstripes,

Oh dear, it must be horrid to find out that your father may be having an affair. I’m sorry to hear of it, and glad that you have taken the effort to write in to lifeline.

You raised the point that your dad is the only breadwinner in the family, and the whole family depends on him. It suggest that that if this issue escalates into a divorce, not only will your family be hurt emotionally, there can be financial considerations.

On the other hand, you’re probably concerned if your father is having another family, with a baby coming along. What will happen? Will your father neglect your family for the other, or worst divorce your mum? Or, could this just be a misunderstanding?

This is quite a heavy worry for you to bear alone. Speaking to your mother may not be the best option, as she could be devastated. Is there a trusted relative from your father side that you could share this with and get off your chest. As he/she knows your father temperament, he could probably decide best how to approach your father about it.

Secondly, observe your father. Does he spend much time on the family, does he look like he’s having a healthy relationship with your mum and you children? All these impact the possibility of a affair, and when it comes to crunch, whether your father will leave your family behind? Hopefully, it will be a misunderstanding.

Third, spend more time with your father, and mobilize your siblings and mum to do so. Ask for weekend outings together, involve everyone for meals, and share conversations together. Let your father feel the warmth from you and the family. Your father is a man of feelings, such warmth will move him.

I sincerely hope things will work out fine for your family.