I'm taking my N levels this year. I've been studying hard for my exams and yet I still feel very nervous about it. I just wanna make it to Sec 5 so that I can take my O levels. Recently, I've started to like this girl from another school. I've been talking to her but not that much because of my exams. She is very pretty and nice. But I'm stuck right now. I don't know how to make her think that I'm a potential boyfriend. My friends told me to go out with her after my N levels. I'm not sure whether that is a good idea. But if I do ask her out, I'm afraid that it will be too awkward for her. What should I do?
help
Dear Help
I’m glad you are studying for your exams, that’s a very mature action to take. Feeling nervous occurs because you don’t know how whether you are well prepared enough, or have covered sufficient topics to do well.
One tip I would recommend is to attempt past year papers. Grade yourself as to how you do as to the number of answers you’ve correctly solved. When you see that you can do most of them, you probably won’t feel too nervous,
However, if you realize that you have difficulty in much of the questions, perhaps you may want to approach your school teacher of friends. By learning new things, you’ll see that you’ll grow more confident of your exams.
As for your exams, your friends are probably wise to leave such relationship matters to after your N levels. As to how to ask her out after the N levels, going out in a group setting is always a wise way forward. Organizing a outing with a few friends, invite her along. Such a setting can always help relationships grow, and avoid potential silence which can be awkward.
All the best for your exams
'I have a bf but I like another guy'
I am facing a terrible problem. I just can't seem to solve it. Please help me. Currently, I have a bf, and we have been together for around 3 years or so. We have had our ups and downs, and we have separated a few times during our relationship.
Now, another guy has appeared in my life. I have known him for around 2 years. He is my schoolmate. Actually he has had feelings for me for quite a while, but has only now made them known to me.
Given my situation now, I do not know what to do.
My current bf has a bad temper which he sometimes vents on me. He also controls me, doesn't allow me to go online. When my school friends (guys) call me on my mobile, he gets angry and misunderstands me. But at times, he can be nice. I can say he is quite caring towards me. I thought he would change for the better, but it does not seem to work. Dajie, help.
Confused
Dear confused,
From the mail you wrote, I see that while you do feel very much for your boyfriend, the thought of leaving him for another guy has crossed your mind many times.
While he appears to love you very much, you’re saying that he can be rather controlling, to the extend of sometimes throwing his temper at you. You probably feel confused, as you sometimes interpret that he does all these actions simply because he loves you so much.
It is natural that if we when we are seeing someone, we desire a certain amount of faithfulness in our partner. However, the line can be crossed when the need for faithfulness become a strong press of possessiveness.
Possessiveness in a relation is unhealthy. Interfering with you making friends, restricting your actions ( going online) or interacting with males is unhealthy. Let him know that.
However, do give him an assurance that while you may have male friends, you will not see other guys on dates and in private settings. Let him know that for the relationship to grow, he must trust you and give you space. Only through this, will your relationship and love with him grow.
