I have a so-called "phobia'' of speaking one-on-one with teachers during oral examinations.
I stutter endlessly if I make any eye contact with them. To avoid this, I have resorted to closing my eyes or looking at my hands during the exam. Can you help me overcome my fear?
Is it considered rude when you don't make eye contact when having a conversation? I'm not a big fan of making eye contact.
Zoe Yamato
Dear Zoe,
I see that you’re concerned of your inability to make eye contact with people, especially eye to eye contact, which is causing you exam marks.
Actually, eye to eye contact with people displays sincerity and interest in whom you are conveying a message to. If you had closed your eyes or looked at your hand when speaking to your examiners, your examiners are going to think they either look very scary, or they are not worth your attention.
One tip I could give, is when speaking to your teachers, look at their facial features. Avoid the eye if you need to, but focus on the forehead, the nose, the ears, the mouth, and occasionally, the eye. This could help your issue and slowly, you should be able to overcome your difficulty.
‘Her parents discovered us trying to have sex...’
I'm "John'', 18, and my girlfriend is "Jane'', 16 going on 17. One time, we had sex but stopped before there was ejaculation. Her parents found out and they are now preventing us from seeing each other. We have decided to wait for her to turn 21 before we continue our relationship. However, her parents have called her nasty things for wanting to be with me, and they say that they wish they never had a daughter like her. I think this MUST be child abuse but i don't know how or who to report this to. What can me or my girlfriend do? I really need your help!
'John'
Dear John,
I’m sorry to hear that the parents of Jane are using nasty words on her. From what you’ve written, the parents have found out your intimate relationship with her, and in their anger, have said such hurtful things.
I’m not really sure this is child abuse, but more an issue of the parents style of reaction to their daughter’s behaviour, which they find unacceptable.
I can understand you two are very much in love, but I do wish to encourage you against sexual relations at your age. Stopping sexual activity before ejaculation does not mean that pregnancy cannot occur. Semen is passed in the act of sexual intercourse, and this could still result in pregnancy.
I see too that you have recommended to wait for her to be 21 before you both consider such intimate relationship. This is probably a wise choice. What you and Jane could do, perhaps, is to let the parents know you both are sorry for your actions, and that you both will not be doing this again. Let them see the sincerity in you, and the matter will soon pass.
