Why are my parents' expectation so high, and if i didnt get what they expect, they will scold me. Eg, academic etc. even if i have already put in a lots of effort into it, they still say i no use whatever. I hate myself, i am disappointed with myself for not getting what i expected too.
Yes, i try so hard, but i did pass but not so high grades, and it makes me feel lousy at times, lack of confidence and so on. i wonder what girls like to slash themselves. me too, sometimes, because very emotional.
Now I dont do it, because I think I am the most foolish girl in this world who did this, and i think that it is not worth it actually. Finally, I want freedom which mum and dad don't give me. I'm wondering why others parents are not so strict with their son/daughter. But i am different from them, whereby mum and dad always tell me what time to be back home,who i go out with, where i have been to, what my school schedule are, why i been out till so late etc. even
if i tell them, they also dont believe me, thinking that i lied to them whatever. expectation,freedom? hais what i should do?
- abc098
Dear abc098
,
I'm sorry to hear that your parents are coming down so strongly on you about your academic grades.
While you know within yourself that they want you to do well for your studies for a better future, you do feel pressurized and because the results are not showing, you have felt that you've disappointed them.
The important thing from your mention to me, is that, you've really tried hard to do well for them to see.
Have you communicated to them the effort you've put in? Start with a simple word that you appreciate them for being so concerned about your studies, and share with them the efforts you've put in. Hear them out if they have any suggestions for you.
Secondly, show them your efforts. Do your parents see you putting time on your books? You may want to put up a routine timetable for them to know when you are studying. When they see you are keeping to a plan, and know your efforts to do well academically to make them proud, you will know you've done your best, and your parents will know too of your efforts.
Regarding acts of cutting yourself, I'm very sorry to hear that you've been doing that. Have you been very hurt lately?
Slashing yourself hurts, and you can get very ugly scars that will not be erased. If serious, you may even be hospitalized. You don't want that do you?
But you must be very hurt inside yourself to want to slash your wrist. Can I recommend you to speak to a counselor via a face to face appointment? You can try the school counselor or the Family Services Counseling centre at 1800 838 0100.
Lastly, regarding your concern of your parents trust in your words. Have you spoken to them that you feel hurt because you can sense that they don't trust you? Let them know your feelings, and you may want to ask them how you can help them to reassure them of the friends you are going out with?
Listen to their recommended solutions to earn their trust. Do respond if you feel you can or cannot accept certain requirements. From there, you can then minimize the lack of trust you're feeling from your parents over to you.
