I suspect that one of my friends is a lesbian. Read the following and tell me if there is a possibility that she is a lesbian.
She is VERY perverted. She would make perverted comments...on females. For example, I would be just standing and she would say, "Wah, so sexy!"
She would make squeezing motions with her hands to indicate squeezing boobs.
She has never had a proper crush on any boy before. She told me that she had dreamt of me before.
She appreciates female singers. But she never listens to male singers. She would say things like "he's so yucky" even when the music by a male singer is actually good.
She likes and really looks up to a female senior. She puts the picture of that female senior as her msn display picture, and tells everybody that the female senior is very, very pretty. My friend, who has seen that female senior, tells me she is not that pretty.
The most disturbing thing is that, when I am alone with her or around her my instinct tells me to go far, far away from her.
I don't know, it might be because of her family problems. Her grandfather just passed away and her younger brother is playing truant. Her parents are divorced, she lives with her mother and her father has remarried. All I know is, she never used to be like this before. Never. I am worried for her.
- totalsolitude
Dear Total Solitude,
Regarding her sexual inclination, there is really no proven test in the market to assess this. As to the actions you have mentioned above, it may be a sign of a preference for females, but not a definite to her sexual preference. The squeezing actions may be a mischievous act, instead of one of sexual intent.
I’m sorry to hear of her family changes. Research has suggested that there is some correlation between a family conditions and ones sexuality. However, it is really difficult to assess if she is a lesbian, not to mention the root cause.
Hence, what I would like to focus on, is your concern of how you should respond to her recent actions.
From your posting, I see you are very close to her to know her family circumstances, idol preferences as well as romantic fantasies. To support her, you may want to speak to her that friends(inclusive yourself) may be uncomfortable with her current behavior. This can bring about increased self awarness of the impact of her behavior, and she will appreciate you for telling her what she is perhaps unaware of.
However, I can understand the discomfort you are feeling because of her actions. Remind her of the impact of her actions, and if she continues with disregard to your discomfort, you may want to distance yourself away from her.
I'm so lonely, what should I do?
Both of my parents and my sister are in Shanghai. I was supposed to emigrate there a few years ago but I really hate that place so I decided to stay in Singapore. At first I thought it was no kick living without parents, but now I regret what I thought. I don't even have anyone to talk to now. At home it's just a maid and my grandma. I don't talk to my maid unless I need something, and I don't talk to my grandma cause her main language is chinese and I suck in chinese.
I'm also quite lonely in school because I have no best friend and I tend to follow the crowd. But I do not stand out. I really want a friend, someone whom I can tell my secrets to, someone whom I can trust and love. I really need one.
What should I do?
- Junnified
Dear Junnified,
Thanks for taking the time to write.
You seem to be in a struggle regarding your home. While you dislike Shanghai, you dislike your Singapore house, because there is no one around to speak to. From what I read, a part of you may even miss your parents and sister.
My question to you is really this, which is more important? Staying in Singapore because you dislike shanghai, or going to shanghai because you love your parents?
Once you can honestly answer that question, you’ll know what you’ll have to do next. Go where your heart tells you
As for school, I see you are lonely although you are surrounded by people. Friends are few, and you miss having someone to mix with. Have you found the reason why you have few friends?
I would share three basic tips on making friends. Smile and show interest when someone speaks to you. Be active in school. Join clubs and activities, you’ll make friends there. And lastly, pick up a guide book in your library on how to make friends. You’ll learn a lot there.
