Should I break up with my boyfriend for my parents?
My parents want me to break up with my boyfriend because of his family background. His parents are divorced, and his dad is with another woman. My parents are afraid that next time he'll be unfaithful to me too.
They don't want me to talk to him at all, and I can't even use the phone at home. I have to go home straight from school every day, and I feel guilty each time I go out secretly with him. I'm scared that my family will find out, or they'll see me in the streets with him.
Please help!
- Ellie
Dear Ellie,
I’m sorry to hear that your parents are not in favor of your current boyfriend because of his family background. I sense that you like him a lot, and love your parents very much too. That’s why you don’t want to make your parents angry if they see you on the streets with him.
Leaving him isn’t an option as you like him much. What I would suggest is this. Speak to your parents like any mature adult, share that you don’t find it right that your parents should dislike him simply because of his family background. It’s not very fair, and that was a relationship matter of his parents unrelated to him.
Share that you would like to be with him and you will not let the relationship affect your studies. Parents love to hear that. Share also that your relationship with him will be very open, and you will share the progress of your relationship with them.
If they sense you are mature enough to handle a relationship, and will not affect your studies, I trust they will give you their okay.
Am I controlling my girlfriend too much?
Hi STOMP, my name NANI. I have a girlfriend currently. I don’t know whether I am controlling her too much to the extent that she often tells me this, "Can you try to understand me more?"
The following are the problems that we never fail to quarrel about.
- Going to Ministry Of Sound with her friends late at night and with her EX-boyfriend.
- Sleeping late at night watching VCDs till 4 am or even later when she had to wake up around 8 am in the morning for work.
- Going out with this guy (that asked her whether she will accept him if she breaks up with me).
Well, I really don't know whether I am controlling her too much. I don't really understand her or maybe we are just not fated to understand each other. STOMP, please help me...
- Nani
Dear Nani,
From the points you gave in the above, it does sound like you have reasonable reasons to be concerned about. It’s absolutely frustrating when your girlfriend hangs out with boys who suggest they should be the next boyfriend if you both don’t work out, or worst, going out with ex boyfriends to discos like MOS.
BUT, and I say it with a big But, you are still her boyfriend. She does have other suitors now, but she still chooses to be with you. You are still her love now.
She has expressed hope that you would understand her more. Perhaps certain actions of yours show that you don’t understand her enough. Speak to her with sincerity, ask her to show you how you can improve your understanding and love for her. Tell her too, of your discomfort with the guys she’s hanging out with. Things should get better along the way.
